Should umbrellas be used for snow?
I wouldn’t use an umbrella if it was raining lightly or if it was really hot and I wanted to cool off. For me it’s a luxury item which gets flaunted when absolutely needed, or when it really goes with my outfit, or as an essential part of a dance routine…
I wasn’t sure whether to link to this as this man could be seen to be advocating taking umbrellas on to aeroplanes with a view to using them as a weapon. But the video is rather sweet.
If you just can’t stop drinking or you need to sneak some liquor into a club on a rainy day then you might be interested in this little invention.
Less than enough room for getting wasted (unless you’re necking some powerful moonshine) but the Malacca cane two-piece handle with a fitted screw-in drinking flask is certainly novel.
Get a glass to pour it in, mind, or you’ll look like a twat.
In the wake of this embarrassing item, I present the tandem umbrella…
Just as sickening, but with a more even distribution of labour.
What looks like a nice comfy handle is in fact a dangerous weapon…
The Umbuster has been classified a Class 5 weapon by good and upright men and women of the Victorian Police. To have and to hold this accessory requires a weapons licence and/or gun licence.
Of Trendhunter’s top 8 umbrellas from May last year most have already been mentioned here. However, these are a few that got away (and are great)…
The Senz aerodynamic umbrella will not invert, and is windproof up to wind force 10. It was invented because of frustration with conventional umbrellas.
The Bumpbrella from RKS design (check out their whole website, you’ll be amazed) stops you from poking other people’s eyes out with your spokes. And it’s gorgeous! I wonder how it folds, if it does at all.
And the My-Day electronic paper umbrella (on to which any picture can be projected) looks unreal, and may well be as I can’t find a site featuring anything but the concept and these exciting photos…
Ken asked me for a boob umbrella yesterday. This thing would be perfect for projecting all manner of smut into the hemisphere above you.
I was thinking of putting this forward for next week’s stupid brolly, but I think I’m in love with it. Every time I look I can’t stop but giggle. It’s amazing! This blog says that the Asian porn market has started to adopt the UFO Caps for their films - something about cleaning up. Erm…
I don’t know about that, but this one does look rather like an unused condom.
Yeep! It predicts the weather! Well, it has an integrated wireless data-radio chip inside it that tunes into accuweather.com to pick up the area’s weather forecast. And then it flashes blue when the rain’s about to fall. That’s very clever. Wonder if it works.
But what does it do when orcs are approaching?
A small collection of umbrellas that are available to buy - those I like but can’t have for one reason or another.
This here gold and yellow number is made by Bella Umbrella who want $110 (what’s that, about £55?) plus shipping expenses.
Seems a little steep to me, but imagine how bright and sunny it’d make you feel in a downpour. It’s double layered and has a yellow wood hook handle - I dig umbrellas that make you feel like a lady. Even if you’re a fella.
If I had the next umbrella in my stand I’d never take it out.
This is because of the universal law of Trish. Anything white belonging to me will strive to place itself in the greatest danger from wine, coffee, oranges and particularly curries. It would stay white for approximately two weeks until a freak balti occurence would stain it forever.
That aside, it has a delicate shamrock pattern around the edges and comes from Pare Umbrella.
Finally, this floral one here is beautiful and cheap, but it’s out of stock.
Of course these umbrellas are all very lovely and desirable, but you just wait until I’ve got my umbrella company up and running. I’ll be starting the diary next week to show how I’m getting along. Any ideas, advice, constructive (I said constructive) criticism or cash that you can offer will be gratefully received.
As of course will your custom… watch this space.
